Maria Pia Oelker "In The East"

" It's true I was sick, but not in the sense that you think.”

" And how then?”

" I was thinking of an old friend of mine who died a long time ago. Do you know what dead means?”

"Yes," the prince nodded.

" For a long time, we lived in this old tower and shared food, hopes and dreams. We talked and sometimes fought and some other quarrel. We once fought and didn't look at each other for two or three days. He then withdrew up there " he pointed to the floor above their heads which was accessed by a trapdoor " and it was I who finally called him. At the same time, he had decided to reopen the trap door and come down. We laughed, I remember, and we were no longer able to stop ...”

" Why did you fight, father?”

" He insisted that I should ask the king for a pardon and I accused him of being a traitor.”

" Why did you have to ask for a pardon? Isn't that what those sentenced to death do? And you are the king.”

" Not then; my father was the king and I was the condemned person, not to death, but to remain shut in here for many months and then perhaps in exile. That was because I had stated the sovereign was not just and surrounded himself with incapable citizens, cruel to the people, only to feel flattered.”

" Was it true?”

" Sure, do you doubt my words?”

" No, but ... It is serious to say such things to a king, it could cause your head to come off.”

"Yes, but I did, and at first some of the king's advisors encouraged me, then they all left me except my friend, who wanted to follow me here.”

" And then?”

" My mother interceded for us and we left safely, with our head still in place. There was no exile in a foreign country, but only in the castle where you now live with your mother.”

"In the tower cell?" The child asked, startled.

" No " the king laughed, amused, despite everything, by the terrified face" No; we were in the castle and could not return to the city, but we were free to go hunting and receive some visits. It wasn't bad after all. The tower was worse. Then my father forgave us, and we were let back into the court.”

" Father, can I ask you something I shouldn't?”

" Have you thought about it? If it is a question that you know is forbidden, you could be punished.”

" I know, but I need to do it.”

" If this is the case ... a man's duty is more important than anything else and we must also face the risk of being punished.”

" I think so too and you too have been condemned by the king because you thought it was fair to say certain things ...”

" Exactly " the king went along, keeping a straight face despite the desire to smile at the solemn tone of the child " So?”

" Why, father, can't my mother and I leave the castle? Perhaps we are prisoners too for offending you?”

The king turned his face so that his son could not see his sudden blush. He wasn't angry about his question, but when he was taken by surprise. He didn't know what to say to him, being put on the spot like that.

He tried to compose himself quickly so would not think that he was angry or offended by his words.

"You are not prisoners," he replied, trying to gain some time.

" But we're not even free.”

" What does that mean? If you asked me to come to the city, for example, I would say yes.”

" It is not the same thing. I wanted to say that if my mother and I wanted to go to the sea alone we could not and if the queen wanted to come all the way here to see the river and the mountains up close you would forbid it. Why, father? Maybe we did things that upset you and now you punish us like that?”

The king was seized with panic, as if he were standing in front of an enemy army. How could he talk to a child of betrayal and wounded honor, of pride and jealousy? Where would he find the words to reassure him that his love for him and his mother was not in question?

" Do you trust me? ". he asked.

" Yes, father.”

" Then listen to me well: your mother is a good and beautiful queen and I love her. I married her for these reasons, and I haven't changed my mind. She never did anything wrong, nor did she offend me, just as you never upset your king and father. You are still too young to understand the real reason why you and she cannot leave the castle without my consent, but I swear to you on my honor as king that you are not prisoners. It is not the same thing as my imprisonment here. You have to believe me.”

"Yes, father. How could I doubt your words? I know a king never tells lies.”

The king felt something twisting wildly inside his chest, like a snake squashed by his boots.

" And then " the child continued " my mother always taught me that you are good and fair and that I should not take too much notice if you sometimes get angry, because you immediately forget ...”

" Ah! Is that what she says? I'll have to scold her then, when we get back because she should teach you to fear me and respect me.”

" Please, father "the scared child tried to remedy the situation " I did not explain myself well. She always tells me that I must be obedient and not discuss your orders, nor those of the councilors and the teacher; but also that I must love you, because you are a good king and a good father ... oh, I don't know how to say, but here ... you must not reproach her.”

" No, you're right, I'd be unfair if I did.”

" And then my mother is really good and kind, you know, and if you were mean to her, I would defend her even at the cost of offending you.”

" My child, you have guts! “ the king teased, but with affection. "In short, would you even feel like challenging me to a duel and risk being locked up in this lonely tower?”

" Yes.”

"Wouldn't you be afraid, little paladin?"

" Maybe. And were you afraid when you were imprisoned in here?”

The king stopped smiling but did not want to elude his question.

" A little, but I wasn't alone and that helped me a lot. Had I been alone, maybe I would have gone mad with anger and hatred. I would have tried to run away, and the guards would have killed me because they were ordered to shoot me if I even attempted to stick out too much from the window. Or I would have slammed my head against the wall to smash it in the days when I was overcome by the darkest sadness and loneliness. It is terrible to be locked in here and feel life passing by without you being able to grasp it. You can't run and ride in the woods and go hunting or attend court parties, you can no longer see the sea and dive into its cold waters or meet friends when and how you want ... And then you think nobody remembers you anymore, because now you are no longer the powerful prince sought and loved by all, but a dirty and hungry prisoner, in complete disgrace. Sometimes I hated everyone, while at time I just hated myself and my inability to even try something crazy to stop that useless rat life. But there was my friend with me, and everything was more bearable with him at my side ...”

" I understand. I, too, sometimes want to escape from the gate and go behind the wagons that pass on the road and maybe go as far as the sea and see if its color is really blue as the master says, or if it is colored like the sky at sunset. Then I think I'd also like to follow the deer when they come back to the woods after eating my hay in the morning and never come back.”

" Why do not you do that? asked his father, still feeling that snakelike twist in his chest.

" I can't leave my mother alone. What would she do? And maybe you would send the guards to find me and, later, you would have me whipped.”

" That's for sure.”

" You see? My mother would die of pain and I would have no peace for eternity.”

" Seriously?”

" Antonia says that if we are responsible for someone's death, hell is waiting for us and then our souls will wander forever like ghosts doomed to never rest.""

" Yes, I understand. Better to resign then.”

"In fact," the prince nodded seriously." I merely look through the bars of the gate and dream, or I climb to the top of the towers and try to see the sea above. I thought I saw it once, but the master believes I have too much imagination.”

" And your mother?”

" I cannot tell you.”

" Why not?”

" I don't want her running the risk of being scolded by you.”

" I swear I won't.”

" Very well, then: she thinks the master is like a nocturnal bird who knows nothing about real life, the sun, and colors; he believes that there is no light stronger than that of the moon because he has never seen the sunshine. Once he suggested me not to pay attention to him and to do my own thing, listening to my dreams.”

" I thought so. Trying to make you rebel! " the king exclaimed in a fake threatening tone.

"Father, you swore," the prince reminded him anxiously.

"…. And a king keeps his word, right?”

The prince nodded energetically.

"I'll take you to see the sea one of these days," the king promised unexpectedly.

The child jumped happily around his neck and his father held him against him for a while to feel that little heart beating against his and letting himself be pervaded, infected perhaps by that naive faith and that immeasurable love that lived in the child permanently and, certainly, happily.

No one, he told himself, could feel less than blessed to live with him.

The planned journey to the sea did not take place, in fact, until many months later because the day after the sovereign left for the city, called urgently by his advisers.

When the king left the castle, the sun had just risen, and the prince was just waking up in the big bed that he had shared with his father that night. They had been awake for a long time talking again about the stars that could be seen from the windows of the royal chambers and playing chess; the king had not even once mentioned the fact that the next day he would leave him alone for who knows how long because delicate and important business required his personal presence in the city. Once, even just a few weeks prior, he would have felt only a slight annoyance in having to abandon his favorite residence and resting in the countryside earlier than expected. Now he felt an acute annoyance, much like the pain of an emotionally important loss. He did not know what to say to the prince and continued to postpone the explanation minute by minute, until his son fell asleep, very tired, reclining his head on his shoulder and it was then no longer possible for the king to offer any explanation.

In the morning he quickly wrote a note for the child, leaving it in full view on the long chest at the foot of the bed, and got out before he woke up and asked him where he was going at that early morning hour. He was afraid he would start crying and above all he feared he would no longer be able to leave him. He would have dragged him along with him, perhaps by force, if he didn’t have to keep his word to the queen.

The prince woke up and instinctively looked for his father as he usually did since he had let him into his rooms and had made him lie down next to him, not to miss even a minute of his company.

He saw the empty bed and stood up abruptly: something told him that this was not normal. He rushed to the window and saw his father approaching the carriage that would take him back to the city.

" Father " he screamed leaning out of the window.

The king heard him and raised his head towards him, waving to him with his hand.

" Where are you going?”

" To the city.”

" Will you be back soon?”

" You can count on it. Unless you want to accept my invitation to come to court.”

The prince shook his head: he would have liked it, but not without his mother and the king had never mentioned the possibility that she, too, could leave the castle. He always said: if you come with me to the city" or" I'll take you to the sea" " you could come with me ...

" No, father. I will wait for you here and I will continue to look at the road that leads to the city from behind the bars of the gate.”

" All right. I hope to be back here very soon. Don't forget to read our books and teach your mother to play chess and keep up your practice.”

The king would have gladly continued to talk to the child, but he knew that if he did, he would never leave. Then he hastily waved good-bye and got into the carriage.

After a few minutes, the cloud of dust the coach had raised when it passed had already disappeared from the road.

The prince walked back to the bed and saw the note his father had left him. He opened it a little surprised and read it with impatience.

" My father " he confided to the queen later, showing her the note " says he is so sorry to leave us, but he will be back soon and then he will keep his promise to take me to see the sea. I must continue to study the stars and books that he left me, and above all to teach you the game of chess so that I can train and prepare properly to face him when he returns. And he also says that I can move into his apartment.”

" I don’t believe it.”

" Yes, mother, look. This is his message.”

The queen read it with a brief incredulous smile.

" Very well. I will order your clothes and games to be transferred to the king's apartment and Antonia will sleep in the yellow room for the moment. But you and I will be a little farther ... “

" Not much, mother, only a few dozen more meters.”

" If this is what the king and my prince want ...”

" Thank you, mother. Do you know what I'm going to do? Sometimes I will invite you to my rooms in the evening and we will read and play together.”

" Really? Careful: you are only a guest there. I myself have gone in the room very few times.”

"But the king gave me permission, didn't he? And he didn't say that on his return I will have to go back to my room, so it's not like I'm a temporary guest.”

" Can’t argue with your reasoning " the queen laughed.

" But now " the teacher who was entering the hall intervened at that moment upon hearing the last words spoken by the queen " I think it's really time to resume your studies. The king wanted to joke and play with the prince, but now that he's back in the city, I think it's right to start living again according to the usual way.”

The prince looked at him grimly without replying; it was not up to him to reply and he waited anxiously for his mother’s answer.