Honey and Pepper
Valentine Ruzanov
The most uninteresting subject at school for me was the Russian language. Well, what can be interesting in what you know from the cradle and use it every day? But having taken up the study of foreign languages, from Latin to Tagalog, I, voluntarily and involuntarily, began to make for myself small and big discoveries in the field of the Russian language, primarily etymological.
Honey and Pepper
Valentine Ruzanov
© Valentine Ruzanov, 2021
ISBNВ 978-5-0055-2521-5
Created with Ridero smart publishing system
Honey and pepper
My name is Peretz, and my chosen one is Honey. Since all women are… Well, you yourself understand. Why is my name Peretz? Let me tell you what happened between us and you yourself will understand everything.
It all began in those immemorial times when I was young and treated colds with disgusting castor oil. She was ugly like everyone else in our quarter and cost 20 kopecks. “Cheap!” – I thought, and was right in my own way. After another tube of castor oil, I felt sick, but I again and again trudged to that charming pharmacist who, not only castor oil, but even needles with her white handles, never touched. And the wolves howled in my soul. And then one day I go to the pharmacy in a new white scarf and I smile so clumsily.
– Lyusya, can I have a couple of glasses for you?
– I don’t drink, – Lucy answers, – Maybe you have castor oil again?
– Well, let’s go to a restaurant, – I continue, – let’s get a pig.
– With insufficient physical activity, one gram of fat is burned in…
– To hell! Lucy, I love you!
– I don’t even know your name!
MY NAME IS PEPPER.
Love tadpoles
– Oh, these hummans! – said a tall frog in a lilac raincoat and sat down on a station stool. There was half an hour before the arrival of her dear uncle, and after wandering around the peron in good anticipation, she settled down near the window of the cafe.
– It is served to eat!
– What is it, waiter?
– Little green ones.
The tears in the frog’s eyes did not at all mean that she understood French well, and after leafing through the dictionary, the frog calmed down that this dialogue could mean anything, but not what she thought in fright.
– Green, you say?
– Yes, monsieur. Your favorite paws.
Making aВ surprised face, the frog grunted and squealed toВ the entire station this ugly word, which was dissolved inВ the whistles ofВ an approaching steam locomotive.
– Pe… to… fi… tu!
Scam love letter
Young lady (fill in the necessary), after 2 days of unrequited love for you, I finally understood…
That everything that happened between us and will happen is only aВ part ofВ that unrequited accident, whose name inВ many languages ofВ the world still sounds as consonant and charming as your smile:
“Meile”.
So, I, aВ Scottish byВ birth, Lithuanian, byВ the will ofВ fate, promise and undertake:
1)В Always be interested inВ your well-being and health
2) Find you wherever you are and under whatever nickname you are hiding
3) Sing your smile inВ odes and choral chants (as well as inВ the blues ofВ the Scottish and North British tradition)
4) Do not compromise you inВ any way, either verbally or inВ writing, be it Fuisbuk, Kontakte or Odnopassniki
If all ofВ the above still leaves the slightest shadow ofВ doubt inВ you, be confident inВ yourself and do not look at others:
We do notВ win!
Always yours,
Quest Tamil Junior
(Qwest TamilВ Jr.)
Around the world
Today IВ went toВ the main post office toВ send books toВ my friend inВ Hong Kong. At the post office, IВ turned toВ one ofВ the windows behind which aВ girl ofВ about twenty was sitting.
– Where are you sending?
– To Hong Kong.
