Danny Osipenko "Ms. Prime Minister"

Ms. Prime Minister
Danny Osipenko

The story is about a girl, Kate, who, as they say, is В«unfortunateВ» and who, by some strange chance, becomes the prime minister of a small country. And what came out of it.

Ms. Prime Minister

Danny Osipenko

© Danny Osipenko, 2022

ISBNВ 978-5-0056-1730-9

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

Ms. Prime Minister

ChapterВ 1

– The devil dared me to climb up here,» Kate grumbled, struggling through the rubble of stone in this strange cave. Violet light flickered across the walls, and something whistled behind her. It was as if the unpleasant place was trying to mesmerize the girl and keep her from going forward. A glimmer of light flickered ahead, and this gave her some hope. At last the walls of the cave parted, and the sun dazzled her eyes. Kate involuntarily squeezed her eyes shut, and after a second she looked around.

Below lay a picturesque emerald valley. The town at the foot of the mountain was buried in greenery. «Where had everyone gone? They’re not here, either…» – Kate thought as she stood under the stone archway of the cave, breathing in the scent of grass and listening to the birds sing. Climbing back into the dark hole, Kate decided to wait for her tour group at the exit. In her opinion, all paths led here.

InВ the meantime, thirst began toВ overcome her. The traveler looked attentively at the foot ofВ the mountain. Some red car was crossing the highway, and she ducked into the green at one end and popped out the other aВ minute later.

– Gotta go… have a drink in the settlement and back…» Kate said to herself, talking to herself out loud, as usual. She carefully assessed the state of her clothes, and suddenly exclaimed:

– Shit! The jeans are ripped… damn the fucking rocks in this fucking cave!

And the white T-shirt, soaked with dust, had turned gray.

But what to do: she was thirsty… So Kate moved down the slope, avoiding the huge boulders. Fifteen minutes later she reached the highway. The smell of sun-heated asphalt intoxicated her. «Civilization at last!» – Kate said aloud. She headed toward the township. Birds were chirping overhead, grasshoppers were chirping in the grass, and the warm air seemed to be filled with the scents of all the herbs in the world.

Entering the town, Kate found herself in the shade of sprawling chestnut trees. Behind their trunks she could see pretty cottages. Kate turned her head, looking at the unfamiliar settlement with interest. A two-story log house, with peeling paint, caught her attention. A light breeze swayed the open door with a creak. This house seemed more democratic to Kate than the rich cottages with manicured lawns. Like any self-respecting girl, Kate was complexed about her untidy appearance, and she was just embarrassed to go to an elite house and fetch water in such a shabby state. She thought, «This is where I’ll ask for a drink.

Kate climbed the creaking stairs to the second floor and found herself in a large room filled with cabinets of papers. In the center stood a heavy oak table with telephones. On the whole, it would have looked like a mid-twentieth century office if it hadn’t been for the computer nestled in the corner of the desk and the TV set next to the wall.

Kate did not immediately notice aВ man squatting inВ front ofВ one ofВ the cupboards. Noticing his guest, the stranger stood up, holding aВ folder ofВ papers inВ his hands, took off his glasses and looked at Kate with interest. Appreciating his gray disheveled, long curly hair, the girl for some reason thought, В«Well, just like Beethoven!В» Always confident, stylish brunette with brown eyes, under this look did not feel very comfortable. Pulling her head into her shoulders, Kate looked at the stranger from under her thick, long bangs, he finally broke the silence:

– Young lady, are you here to see me?

His voice was quite pleasant. Kate indefinitely shrugged her shoulders.

– You must be a foreigner,“ the man continued, „I noticed that you do not look like ours.

The stranger’s friendly tone reassured Kate, she said confusedly:

– Yes, I guess…

– Well, fine, have a seat, – the man pointed to a chair, – you must be on business?

– Sorry, I was just passing by…

– It’s all right, I’m glad to have guests,“ the master of the house straightened up and solemnly proclaimed, „at your service the President of Viplandia.

«Good thing it’s not Napoleon,» – Kate thought, she decided not to argue with the stranger and run away quickly, but she was terribly thirsty.

The phone rang on the table, and the President picked itВ up:

– I’m listening… right now…“ hanging up, the President turned to Kate, „I have to leave you for a while, here, watch TV.

Kate looked at the owner of the cabinet, poured water from the decanter into the glass and greedily drank it, and only then looked at the screen. There was a news program on. After a minute Kate caught herself thinking that she hadn’t heard the name of any familiar country, hadn’t seen any well-known political figure. Finally, the announcement of the president of Wypland was announced, and her recent interlocutor appeared on the screen, surrounded by many microphones. He said something about the strengthening of the fight against smuggling, but Kate wasn’t listening to him anymore, she was dumbfounded by the information that had fallen on her. Her bewildered gaze stumbled upon the map of the world hanging on the wall. The outlines of the continents, completely unfamiliar, shocked her. On cotton legs Kate approached the map – Russia was not there. Not only that, in its place was the ocean blue.

Kate hobbled back and plunged into the president’s chair:

– It can’t be,“ she murmured, and fragments of thoughts lingered in her head, finally forming into the final conclusion, „this is not a dream… the cave… yes, the cave… it’s another world… in the cave is a portal… back to the cave, run!.. though, why?.. it’s interesting, and the cave is not going anywhere… no-no, I’ll stay here for now…

Her thoughts were interrupted byВ the President, who burst into the room like aВ whirlwind. He was humming something toВ himself, and apparently inВ the best ofВ moods.

– I’ve got them through! – the President exclaimed, «I got my bill through the Parliament!

The President laughed wildly, ruffled his gray hair, ran toВ the refrigerator, took out aВ bottle ofВ champagne, uncorked it with aВ bang and poured the contents into two tall crystal flutes.

Kate shrugged and took one ofВ them.

– To democracy! – exclaimed the President.

– Here’s to it! – Kate supported him.

They drank together. The President sank heavily into the chair inВ front ofВ his guest and said tiredly:

– Can you imagine, I survived the fight with the parliament!

– Congratulations,» Kate answered in tone with him.

– You know, we haven’t even met yet,» remarked the President.

– My name is Kate.

– And me…“ The president hesitated, „I’ve been reelected so many times… but who cares… just call me the president.

– Okay, I’ll call you President,» she agreed.

– Well, where are you from?

– I’m from Russia, – Kate answered and immediately regretted it, as the interlocutor strained his forehead, apparently remembering where that country was. Finally, sighing, he uttered:

– Sorry, I can’t remember, it must be a very small country, like ours…

– Yes, it’s only a hundred and fifty million people.

The president laughed, taking it as aВ joke, then he looked closely at Kate and said:

– Everyone who comes to us is welcome, and are you a tourist?

– No, I’m more of a free traveler,» replied Kate, smiling.

– Well, that’s wonderful! – exclaimed the President, «We’ve been waiting for someone new, wouldn’t you like to head our Cabinet of Ministers?

– Me?“ Kate was taken aback, „but I somehow…

– Don’t be afraid, – the President went on, – don’t be surprised, for everyone is afraid of responsibility, we have four ministers and no Prime Minister, and I know that you can manage it, though you are very young, by the way, how old are you?

– Nineteen.

– Um…“ said the President, thinking for a moment, before continuing, „you see, our laws say that a Viplandian, who must be twenty-one, may be Prime Minister, but that’s all right.

– And I don’t know how,» Kate resisted weakly.

– Now…“ The President picked up the phone and dialed, „I want the Chief Justice, urgently!

– Oh, I’m afraid I won’t be able to,» Kate tried to deny it.

– You know, Kate, – the President sighed heavily, somehow he sank back in his chair, and even imperceptibly sobbed, – I have a daughter just like you… the same bangs… the same plaits… she dyed her hair black, said she was a Goth… went to parties at the cemetery, and then ran off with a musician abroad, and hasn’t been heard from again for a year.

After these words Kate could hardly hold back her tears, she felt terribly sorry for the good old man. She stood up and said:

– All right, I will be Prime Minister, and I will find your daughter! I promise!

ChapterВ 2

AВ fat man, as important as aВ penguin, entered the room. His sideburns jutted toВ the sides with dignity, his three chins shaking inВ time with his steps. He stopped and, lifting the first chin, exclaimed:

– The President of the Supreme Court has arrived at your behest!

– Well, here’s the thing,“ the President began, „a certain legal conflict has arisen…

– I am aware of it,» said the President calmly.

– What do you mean by that? – The President was indignant, – are you eavesdropping on me?

– It was the chief intelligence officer,“ the judge excused himself, „he said it was for your own safety…

– Take it all away at once,» said the president, and at once the men in black turtlenecks burst into the room, pulling the bugs out of every conceivable and inconceivable place.

– You see, they are too wild,“ the President said to Kate, „they eavesdrop on their breadwinner, and where did they get this silly fashion and these silly black turtlenecks from, in summer the whole country wears T-shirts and shorts, and they wear turtlenecks!

– The uniform of the special services has been approved by you,“ said the Chairman of the Supreme Court, „in autumn they will be provided with protective raincoats, and in winter…

– Enough! – The President interrupted him, – what will you say on this question, now that you are aware of it?

– I have the following to say on the subject,“ the judge looked up at the ceiling, „To change the law is to get it through Parliament, it’s easier to give her a Wyplandia passport with the proper age.

– Now that’s a case,“ the President patted him on the shoulder, „how much time do you need?

– Two days.

– Thirty minutes.