Danny Osipenko "Ms. Prime Minister"

– That’s good.

– You see who we have to work with, – said the President when everyone had gone, – they’re already on their necks, I hope you’ll build them, I’m already old… I’m in my eighth term of presidency.

– Never mind, we’ll build them,» Kate assured him, smiling enigmatically.

The President laughed, hugged her and kissed her on the forehead.

****

Thirty minutes later the Chairman ofВ the Supreme Court entered the room, carrying on aВ tray aВ passport and aВ certificate ofВ the Prime Minister. Kate solemnly accepted all these documents, opened the passport and whistled inВ surprise.

– When did you have time to take my picture? – she exclaimed.

– It was the Chief of Intelligence, the camera worked at the entrance to the Presidential Palace, – said the Chairman nonchalantly, – and then they corrected it on the computer, in my opinion it turned out well.

– Next time tell me, – said Kate, – that I should at least comb my hair… and what kind of name is this – Catarina de Ross?

– I think it sounds good!

– Why, can I give orders now?

– According to the Constitution, you only answer to the President.

– Well, now hold on! – Kate said ominously, – he made a fool of himself, he made my hair look so stupid in the picture on my ID card… I’ll fire all the computer guys!

– Go get them! – The President laughed, – go ahead, Iron Lady, I didn’t even expect you to be so quick.

– You know, – said Kate, – I already like being the Prime Minister in advance…

– You bet you do…“ The President didn’t stop laughing, „Come on, I’ll introduce you to the bodyguard, we’ll have one for the two of us… as well as the limousine.

They left the Presidential Palace and approached the garage, which was locked. The president looked around puzzled and muttered: В«Where inВ the world is he?В». The bodyguard was found inВ the backyard, inВ aВ hammock, between two towering willows on the bank ofВ aВ picturesque pond. He was snoring frankly, scaring away the butterflies that tried toВ sit on his nose.

– Dick, get up! – commanded the president.

The bodyguard twitched and fell out ofВ the hammock. The president and Kate laughed involuntarily. The appearance ofВ the red-haired, fat, good-natured lout did not tie inВ with the image ofВ aВ formidable guard.

– Sorry, Mr. President, – he muttered, rising to his full height and shoving the holster with his pistol under his arm, – I did not sleep well.

– Well…“ the president, condescendingly, clapped him on the shoulder, „meet our new Prime Minister, this is Catarina, you will guard her too.

– Nice to meet you, Your Excellency, – Dick grumbled reluctantly, then he suddenly brightened up and exclaimed, – so now my salary will also be doubled?

– The question of salary we will settle, – assured him the President – and now, you will show Prime Minister his apartment, take him to the supermarket, and in general, help to settle in, by the way…

The President took out from his jacket pocket aВ weighty bundle ofВ bills and handed it toВ Kate.

– Here are five thousand dorels, it’s a kind of advance payment, you can sign the receipt later.

– Is it much? – Kate asked.

– The Premier’s salary is ten thousand, and for thirty thousand you can buy a decent jeep.

– That’s not bad.

– Now, I’m entrusting you to Dick, and we’ll talk about it tomorrow, but now get settled in.

ChapterВ 3

The residence ofВ the Prime Minister was aВ small modern cottage across the street from the В«presidential palaceВ». Kate carefully inspected her new place ofВ residence and was quite satisfied. Everything she needed, including the computer, air conditioner, television, microwave, dishwasher, everything was inВ perfect order. Pulling the covers off the chairs, Kate involuntarily sneezed at the rising dust.

– We could get a cleaner,» Dick remarked.

– That’s all right, I’ll do it myself,“ Kate replied, „but now, let’s go to the store, I need to buy at least a toothbrush.

– Maybe we can get a limousine?» suggested the guard.

– Is it far?

– No, four hundred meters.

– Yes, let’s walk, I at least look around.

– As you wish…

Mysteriously, the В«toothbrushВ» turned into two huge shopping bags, which the security guard dragged with difficulty behind Kate. She strutted up front inВ her new black short dress. Her stiletto-heeled model shoes clattered on the pavement.

– You know, Dick,“ Kate reasoned, puffing on her cigarette, „you can live here. I only spent two thousand and a half… and I got my groceries and my clothes.

– Well, well! – The guard was nodding his head in agreement, breathing heavily.

– I think I’ll stay here for a while.

At last they reached the house. Dick dumped the packages on the couch with aВ sigh ofВ relief.

– Do I owe you a tip or something? – Kate asked.

– No,“ said the bodyguard firmly, „maybe a cup of coffee.

– And what about a can of beer?

– I would be honored! – The guard replied solemnly.

Then they sat for a long time, sipping beer and then whiskey. Dick loosened his tongue, and he told Kate many interesting things. The country, as it turned out, stretched forty kilometers long and fifteen kilometers wide, in a valley between two low mountain ranges, beyond which lay the two great countries of Lämpia and Furland.

– These two countries are in constant conflict,“ said Dick, „and we’re in between them… And at the slightest sign they shoot each other with cruise missiles… if you only knew, Madam DeRoss, how we were tired of it all… And that silly smuggler is muddying the waters…

– Which one is that?

– «I’d have shot the bastard, I swear to God,» said Dick.

– Still,» Kate interrupted him, but the guard stood up resolutely and headed for the exit.

– Dick, will you walk?“ Kate asked sympathetically, „maybe a cab?

– No need, I’m not far from here…

– Well, see you tomorrow…

– Tomorrow I’ll take you for a ride in a limousine, you’ll see for yourself,» Dick assured Kate.

– Thank you! – she sincerely thanked him.

Kate returned toВ the living room and pulled off her dress, her gaze accidentally falling on the corner ofВ the ceiling, where the lens ofВ the TV camera glittered.

– Well, this is too much! – she was indignant, – come here, Chief of Intelligence, you can hear me, right?!

AВ minute later there was aВ knock at the door, and Kate, inВ her robe, opened the door. On the threshold stood the chiefВ spy.

– We beg of you,“ he murmured, „keep undressing.

At last, having come toВ her senses, she screamed:

– Get all your fucking bugs out of the house! If I find one, I’ll kick it the hell out!

The same faceless men in black turtlenecks ran into the house, armed with screwdrivers and pliers, they began to dismantle the TV cameras and take out the «bugs. Kate, in an open robe, showing only her translucent underwear, rushed between them, shouting at the slowest ones. It was obvious that the guys are not in a hurry to do their job… Kate suddenly realized why. She blushed, wrapped her robe and sat down on the sofa.

– Everything is cleaned! – Reported the head of intelligence.

– Watch it with me! – Kate threatened him, «All of you, get out!

***

When Kate went out inВ the morning toВ the backyard, she was surprised toВ find aВ gorgeous pool filled with inviting azure water. Without thinking, she threw off her robe and plunged into the life-giving water.

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