Natalie Yacobson "Rhianon-5. Along the Way of Deception"

His whisper turned fiery for aВ moment, though. В«You knowВ me.В»

«No, I don’t know you. I thought you could keep your word. I thought you belonged to me, not the other way around.»

В«What do you want?В»

Now it was her turn toВ say nothing. Rhianon was already regretting the quarrel. Walk away right now, and spend all eternity wandering the world looking for aВ way back toВ the magic realm? Was that what she wanted?

She was about to change her mind, but Madael’s last furious words changed everything.

«You will never leave. I won’t allow it.»

Now he was really angry. His words were not an empty threat. Rhianon could see that he was angry and perhaps struggling to keep himself from destroying everything here. From the way he clenched his fists tightly, the gold plates of his armor dug into his flesh. He didn’t even seem to notice the pain. His wings fluttered behind him so that the wind alone could have brought down things in the room. He was beautiful in his anger, of course, but his beauty would hardly make the fate of those he went to kill any less enviable. As he moved toward the exit, Rhianon guessed that he would be out there all night, tearing and thrashing until he calmed down. It would be bad enough for humans and dark vassals alike. For the first time, Rhianon felt pity for neither of them. She felt pity for herself first. She wanted some understanding, not empty tantrums. What difference did it make that Madael went to destroy someone else’s armies and torment his own subjects, as long as he wasn’t destroying Loretta’s armies. He could have done her bidding long ago instead of needlessly venting his anger on just anyone.

Rhianon scowled like a hurt child and buried her face in the polar bear’s soft hide. The two large emeralds embedded in its empty eye sockets no longer stalked her, and the soft fur was soothing. She was so oblivious that she didn’t even notice the silvery haze that swirled above her.

«Wasn’t it time to go back to the tower, to visit the spirits?»

She wasn’t the least bit surprised by the voice that broke through her reverie.

«I don’t want to travel anymore,» she protested.

В«How easily you giveВ up.В»

«I don’t give up, I just compromise. Besides, I need some rest.»

She hoped he’d understand her forceful tone and not be so obtrusive, but the spirit kept up.

«You do want someone to comfort you, don’t you?»

В«But it is not with you.В»

В«And IВ am offering you the company ofВ others. It is from the beginning. Remember?В»

She wondered. Indeed, why did he keep calling her to them? He had only appeared to take her to a place he couldn’t enter himself.

В«What do you want?В» She asked directly, as if he would answer honestly.

В«IВ want toВ serve you because you are the most beautiful girl inВ the world.В»

«I don’t believe you.»

«If you don’t believe you’re the prettiest,» he pretended not to understand her, «then take the mirror and see for yourself. It won’t deceive you. It has no more reason to lie than I do.»

Rhianon looked involuntarily at the cracked mirror. She did not care toВ look inВ it, so she only shook her head inВ disapproval.

В«Leave me alone.В»

«Leave you alone when you’re about to cry.

Rhianon put her fingers to her cheeks. Really soon tears would run down them, salty and searing like turpentine. They might burn her skin if she didn’t handle them. If Orpheus were here he would make her laugh.

She rose and sat up inВ bed. The gleaming smoke still hovered aboveВ her.

«You can’t replace the company of those I like,» she said with a touch of reproach.»

В«But IВ can be useful toВ you,В» he moved closer, almost toВ her. В«IВ really can.В»

«You don’t know what I want.»

В«So tellВ me.В»

She just laughed.

В«How you try toВ simplify things, and they are so complicated.В»

В«IВ know, but it will get easier if you believeВ me.В»

She didn’t believe him, and she didn’t want to, but there was no one else around. Even the harpy, who had been on her heels the whole time, had disappeared this time. Rhianon sat staring at the smoke billowing over the floor. It gleamed so beautifully, but it was cold. If it had been material, it would surely have felt as prickly to the touch as golden sand.

She stared at it long enough, and then she suddenly really wanted toВ go toВ the tower. Could he have instilled that inВ her? Or maybe she had aВ need for companionship. The five spirits were always courting her. Sometimes it was even pleasant toВ be with them. Now that she was alone, she needed toВ unwind. Let Madael tear up the world below if he so desired, and here inВ the sinister underworld she could discover her own corner ofВ pleasure and sorcery. She was drawn toВ the spirits as strongly as if they were standing beside her and calling toВ her.

«All right,» she stood up, brushed her fingers through her tangled locks, and then moved toward the exit, trying not to watch the emeralds in the bears’ eyes flash and fade behind her. It was as if they were signaling her to stay. Otherwise something terrible would happen, her emerald gleam warned her, but she paid no attention. It was just a few minutes and she was already in the tower with the spirits. This time it was unaccustomedly quiet around her, no laughter, no jokes, no promises. Each spirit sat in its own niche, gleaming in the darkness with multicolored sparks that surrounded each vague figure. Rhianon stopped in the center. She had to turn her head to look at each in turn. The tense silence made her tired.

В«Well?В» She glanced at the spirit whose fuzzy silhouette had ruby sparks danced across it. В«Is there anything else you want toВ offerВ me?В»

В«Not much,В» the orange spirit replied.

В«Is it aВ new country? Or is it aВ place ofВ interest?В»

Several ofВ the ghostly voices nodded inВ agreement. Rhianon sensed aВ slight movement inВ the air, as if she thought she heard aВ breeze inside the tower.

В«Look!В» AВ hand ofВ smoke and gold flecks deftly wrapped around her wrist and forced her toВ place her fingers against the partition above the alcove. В«What do you see? What do you feel?В»

The smoke was no longer enveloping her, and Rhianon kept running her fingers along the wall. She could feel the cold stones, but she could see nothing. There wasn’t even a spider’s web that had insects with human limbs crawling all over it. Elsewhere in the castle there was such a web, it stretched in golden lace around the corners or the ceiling and looked quite beautiful, but the strange parasites stuck in it could frighten anyone. Here, on the other hand, there was no slime, no mud, no spider nets, not a crack in the stones, but they seemed damp for some reason. Rhianon did not immediately manage to fumble for something that looked like a bas-relief.

«Is it a symbol or a coat of arms?» She frowned, tracing a fancy monogram with her finger. She could see well into the darkness, but she couldn’t make it out clearly. She had to study it by touch. It was quite elaborate, covered in delicate curls, and the carving was deeply embedded in the wall. She wondered why she hadn’t noticed it at once.

«What is it?» Rhianon asked, but the spirits were stubbornly silent. Did they want her to guess for herself? Rhianon shook her head. They were so stubborn. They could have easily explained it to her, but they didn’t hurry. Maybe it was the oppressive silence that was causing her to have strange visions. She heard screams, the way only children can scream, shrill and hoarse, as if their cervical vertebrae had been broken, and she saw blood. Someone was twisting the head of a black hen and dipping a dagger in its blood to carve a magic wand out of the alder tree with it. Someone is summoning spirits. She recognized Hildegard’s hands carving something whimsical out of wood. And then it was the turn of incomparably ancient visions. People dancing in a ring lined with demons, Madael’s servants dragging blocks and laying them in a circle, and then watching from above as sacrifices were offered on the altars. It was human sacrifices.

Rhianon swallowed hard. They want to flatter their lord with these sacrifices. Stonehenge, as it would later be called, the place where he first appeared in the midst of the ritual, simply emerged from a halo of fire, her warrior-lover, fresh from battle, bloodied sword in hand and helmetless. Even those who had conjured and offered sacrifices to him on the altars, seeing him without his helmet, went blind. But she herself, instead of going blind with the appearance of Madael in her life, on the contrary, began to see well in the dark. Maybe it’s because fire is her element. She herself is made of fire. And a fallen angel in fire cannot be a stranger to her. Still, Rhianon was scared. Those rituals were terrible. They meant nothing to Madael, he took the pain of others for granted, because he thought that no one would ever go through the same pain as he himself after the fall. The horror, suffering, and stupid self-sacrifice of mortals became something he took for granted. He despised people, but he accepted their sacrifices. He was indifferent to his own army as well, but condescended to let them herd a bloody temple for him. Every block of his unfinished chapel is stained with blood. We must ask him to forbid his demons to continue dragging the blocks. That temple must never be finished. No way.

ToВ think how much inanimate stones can tell us. Rhianon kept running her hand over them, and the wall seemed toВ vibrate and come alive under her touch. The surface was no longer cold; on the contrary, it began toВ seem fiery.

«It’s a letter,» Rhianon realized at last. Beneath the swirls and monograms she could see the familiar shape of a letter. «It is the letter «A.»

«Well done, you guessed it,» the emerald-colored spirit pretended to clap his hands, but the clapping wasn’t even louder than the echo. «Now keep watching.»

Rhianon moved on toВ the next partition and fumbled for aВ similar symbol. She no longer had toВ run her fingers over it as long toВ figure itВ out.

В«It is the letterВ В«D.В»

She didn’t know what it was, but the spirits were nudging her toward something. There was a vague sense of panic, merriment, even excitement in the tower now. Everything stirred. They were expecting her to do something. She felt as if a storm was about to break out of the autumn leaves flying at her.

В«Keep watching,В» someone commanded.

Rhianon obeyed. She found the next symbol.

В«B,В» she said aloud, and frowned. It was an Earth alphabet, or so she thought, but inВ fact she found some unknown symbols and interpreted them inВ aВ way that was close toВ human perception. It could have happened toВ her, after all. Living with Madael, she learned toВ understand the language ofВ angels, but toВ perceive it as human speech. Now she thought she encountered familiar letters, but really they were forbidden and dangerous symbols that meant something terrible.

«Farther, farther…» they urged her on.

InВ the next two partitions she discovered two more letters, В«EВ» and В«N.В» What could this mean? There were five spirits and five letters. As many ghosts fill the hall, so many symbols are inВ it. Rhianon tried toВ draw aВ parallel, but she had little success.

«They’re the first letters of your names,» she surmised.

For aВ moment the air inВ the hall was heavy with laughter, low as the wall, more like the rustle ofВ aВ leaf whirling against the wall, but more affecting toВ her than deafening laughter.

«What’s the matter? Are you trying to play a trick on me?»

«Not at all, most beautiful, not at all,» the spirits flew from their seats and touched her shoulders and hands and face affectionately – all as they had the first time and yet in a very different way.

В«What do you want from me?В» Their caressing touches this time felt slippery and clammy, like the embrace ofВ aВ grave full ofВ worms. It was as if the worms were sliding across her skin, not her hands. If one day she died and ended up inВ the ground, the grave bugs would caress her the sameВ way.

В«It is just aВ little, divine beauty,В» the golden spirit whispered inВ her ear, and the others echoed.

В«It is just aВ little.В»

Rhianon wanted to put her hands over her ears so she couldn’t hear them. It sounded like a funeral choir. It was as if the spirits were performing a requiem for her. She is a princess and she is about to die, to be walled up here, and the spirits will begin to circle around her burial place. And so it might have been, had it not been for the spark of fire inside her that they feared.

«It’s true already inside you,» the reddish spirit whispered, the ruby sparks flashing beautifully on her transparent body, it seemed magnificent, like a whole treasure trove of scarlet gems. His glowing hand slid gently around her waist, as if seeking to penetrate her corset and press against her skin.

«There’s fire inside me,» she whispered, as if she were confiding in them a deep secret.

В«And what fire is it,В» the greenish spirit confirmed. В«It is aВ creature ofВ fire. It is aВ great creature. So magnificent, it would be impossible toВ believe your eyes. No mortal would believe it, no immortal either. You have no idea how much pain and suffering he would bring toВ humans and demons alike.В»

В«Is it he?В» Rhianon looked from one spirit toВ the next perplexed, but they all seemed toВ be talking toВ each other. No one was quick toВ offer an explanation.

«He’ll be magnificent,» the spirits whispered, breathless and delighted. «He couldn’t be more wonderful, but his character leaves a lot to be desired…»

«What can you do, the blood of the fallen archangel, his fire, his vengeance…» The golden-haired spirit took his place in the niche, but he seemed to sit on the throne, his posture defiant and majestic, and he himself seemed to become clearer. «It is the fire of the fall, the beauty of the dawn, the sizzling effect of the sun, and with it is your grace, my dear princess. It is all in him. And with so many qualities he manages to drive everyone mad, mortals and immortals alike, and even the incorporeal. It seems he will also be unlovable. Can you imagine what it’s like to cause obsessive passion in others and never fall in love himself? I swear he’ll end up getting the whole world cut off because of him, and we’ll have no one to take revenge on. He will unknowingly do everything for us. It is by the power of his charm alone.»

«Why does he need fire at all,» the green spirit wondered. He folded his arms across his chest and leaned his back against the wall so that he could almost disappear into it. «If he’s beautiful as gold, he doesn’t need power. I’d rather give him moderation, so he’ll never know ruinous emotions. Let him burn people himself, and remain cold.»

«Fire is necessary,» the orange spirit protested immediately, still hovering above the hall and resembling a disk of the sun itself. «He is a creature of fire. And fire has great power. He would never need anyone’s help. He can burn anyone and anything he doesn’t like.»

«And he’ll have blue eyes, just like you,» the bluish spirit said, turning to Rhianon. «To think, two fiery creatures merged to produce a creature with blue eyes and lilac skin.»

«He is gentle as a girl and strong as the elements,» the fifth spirit chimed in, flashing his eyes slyly. «Or is he the offspring of an angel? You don’t call your lover an incubus. You sleep in the arms of a fallen archangel, and you are as warm as in the bosom of a god. Will you love someone who is like your deity? He himself will be divine, but he will no longer be a warrior with a sword, but a refined cavalier… graceful, statuesque, well-mannered and yet powerful. He will break hearts at the same speed as your friend Hildegard breaks crystal glasses. How beautiful he will be…»

В«And there will be aВ dragon inside him,В» the golden spirit said triumphantly, and somehow his words seemed scary toВ her. She was not afraid ofВ dragons, they were all part ofВ the great army that had fallen from heaven, and they all served her lover. Only this time it was not just aВ dragon, but something incommensurably more terrifying.

«They are terror, power, fire, majesty, a throne.» The golden spirit’s golden eyebrows arched. «All this is inseparable. They are all the best qualities of the world in one golden being. We are all ready to become his protectors. You will receive us, as in the mortal world you receive your godparents. We can all unite to protect him. We would be honored. Wouldn’t you agree?»

«Do I agree? If I had any idea what you’re talking about?» Rhianon looked around, trying to catch the facial expressions of each spirit. «Who are you talking about?»

В«It is the child,В» the golden spirit said indifferently, as if she should know all that byВ now.

«Is is a child?» She remembered Eve for some reason, his blond hair, his unearthly beauty, and his frail, broken body, which had become incredibly strong after the torture. He was sitting on the arrow of the devil’s watch, looking up at her from below. His bloodied lips opened for a moment only to utter the single word «mother». He wanted to call her his mother, Rhianon only now realized, and shuddered, but the spirit hastened to dissuade her.

«It is about your child,» he said. «About what’s already inside you. Can’t you feel it?»

That’s where all those fiery explosions came from inside her. Rhianon put her hands to her lips.

В«No,В» she recoiled from the golden spirit so quickly that she nearly collided with the ones grating behind her, they passed through her like colored sparks, leaving aВ slight tingling sensation throughout her body.

В«Yes,В» the golden spirit jerked forward. В«Or did you think you could only be carried byВ the swept ones?В»

He was clearly mocking her. He knew it was impossible, he knew it himself. Rhianon broke into tears.

«It couldn’t be. It couldn’t, that’s all. Madael is not human.»

В«And you are not,В» the spirit nodded eagerly, shaking his weightless head like aВ lump ofВ golden sand. В«And the child inside you is not mortal. It is aВ catastrophe, the fruit ofВ the union ofВ two spirits, something that was not meant toВ be and that will become untold.В»

«I don’t want that,» she backed away until she was against the wall, as if that were a way to escape her destiny.

В«So what does it matter what you want? You should have thought about desire before you shared aВ bed with aВ fallen angel. You wanted him, just as others want aВ throne and piles ofВ gold. So you get it all together. В«You get wealth and power and the child ofВ Dennitsa inside you. He burns you already, worse than any fire.В»

Rhianon squinted at the golden spirit. She could feel it glowing intenselyВ now.

В«Can IВ get rid ofВ it?В»

«No, you can’t. Even if you kill yourself, he will go on living. He already is.»

How indifferent it all sounded. She felt trapped. There was no escaping it. It was inside her. Rhianon panicked. What if she really did die, producing such a creature? Is there a way to destroy it before it is born? She knew that there were tinctures and herbal potions to help induce a miscarriage. Any herbalist would be able to make them. Especially if she asked Madael for such a potion, he could get it for her. And what if he doesn’t want to destroy this child? What if that’s what he wanted? Did he fly over the worlds and seek out his mistress just to conceive? He wanted a son, a descendant, an heir, someone who would train with him to lead his dark army, grow by leaps and bounds and become an even more deadly creature than his father? He wanted to have such a toy, but he did not know how to acquire one. Mortal girls did not appeal to him, and so he found one that had fire inside her. She could be coveted, but not for long and for one specific purpose only.

If she died inВ childbirth, it would only benefit him. He would be alone with aВ creature who had no right toВ be born and who would probably be unusually strong. No one else will go after him and woo him. And if she even survives, he can send her toВ Loretta and keep the baby. Will she then be happy inВ her newfound kingdom, but with no hope ofВ returning back toВ the magical world. Or would she, like any human exiled from the realm ofВ fairies, be haunted byВ madness.

В«This child is aВ mistake,В» the spirit continued toВ whisper softly, hovering beside her. В«It is aВ fatal mistake for all ofВ us.В»

В«Is it aВ mistake for his father?В»

В«Well, you can protect him from his father.В»

В«How is it?В» She lifted her weary eyes toВ the golden-haired spirit. She wanted toВ take what he needed from Madael. But how isВ it?В»

В«Give him aВ name.В»

В«What do you mean?В»