Erik Pethersen "The Ball"

В«Sure. The last two meetings were confidential, Brando.В»

В«Right, confidential.В»

«Correct. Let’s recap the whole thing and let’s get to the latest sequence of events from a few weeks ago» the notary starts off. «Mr and Mrs Pardoli got married around 2001, more or less. Augusto Pardoli was married before to another woman, did you know that, didn’t you?»

В«Yes, I got it while taking care of the deeds.В»

В«Good. He was born in 1950, so at the time of his second marriage, he was somewhere in his 50s.В»

В«On the other hand, Marisa is much younger than him, right notary?В»

В«Yes, I would say so. However, she must be now the same age he was at the time of the marriage. Let me check, I opened the last deed earlier onВ» the notary says shifting the mouse. В«Yes, she was born in 1968: so, she is forty- nine. Right, she is three years younger than me, I remember now.В»

В«She looks quite well for her age, she looks five or six years younger.В»

В«Maybe so, Brando. However, I would say that it is not necessary to discover whether or how much the lady looks after her appearance.В»

В«Sure. Please go ahead.В»

«As from the date of their wedding, Augusto has been constantly giving gifts to Marisa. At first they were cash donations, then he gave her the house where they live, and soon after the one on the lake. In the last few years, Marisa decided to take up a job, and I quote, because she was tired of being at home, doing nothing all day. That’s how the limited company was set up to run a retail footwear business: a shoe shop for ladies and gents.»

В«Right...В» I say feeling a little puzzled, trying to stimulate my neutrons in order to understand what the gender of the people buying shoes has got to do with the whole matter.

«At first the company belonged to the two of them: fifty fifty; that’s what Mr Pardoli said anyway, he could have helped her to run it with his experience in the business sector.»

«Just out of curiosity» I interrupt him «what is Mr Pardoli into? I don’t really think that any file connected to his business has ever been around the office.»

В«I think he has a small company dealing with metal polishing. It belonged to his father, many years ago.В»

В«Right. Anyway, for all the donations and the other deeds, we always talk about small amounts of cash.В»

«This is remarkable, Brando: I summed it all up. The cash donations that have been made so far amount to € 55.000. The two houses had a total market value of € 300.000, at the time of the donations, so I think that now it is less. The company had a capital of € 20.000 and each of the spouse had deposited €10.000. So, back then, there was no cash donation, let aside the fact that after a few months, Mr Pardoli gave his € 10.000 share to his wife» the notary explains firmly. He then looks away from me and stares at the screen, without saying a word.

В«Thorough recap, thank you. This is broadly what we know, right?В»

«I’d say so. What do you think about all these transactions?» Alessandro asks me looking back at me.

«I don’t think much about them. I have never understood why they got married under the regime of separation of property and then poor Augusto started to give his wife everything, despite our attempts to dissuade him. It is okay if we just talk about money, a money transfer would have been sufficient, on the other hand, it becomes a problem when people start donating properties, because selling it then can become an issue.»

В«Why did you refer to Augusto as poor?В»

В«Well, Alessandro, I said that because he looks like a henpecked man, like many of the kind. She is much younger than him, he tries his best to hold on to her, giving her as much as he can put together. These situations are not usually created by logic: these decisions are not made using your head but using some other parts of your body.В»

В«Which ones, Brando?В»

«I meant» I answer him back pausing for a while, «I don’t know, using your gut, I would say, not your head. We say that, don’t we?»

В«True: using your gut. Why do you often refer to Marisa using that word...?В»

В«Well, notary. If I am not wrong, when I use that nickname, you immediately understand who I am talking about, right?В»

В«Sure.В»

«There you go. That word suits the person in my opinion. It’s like when a person is very thin and people say that she or he is as thin as a rake» I reply, while the notary looks at me puzzled, not saying a word. «I’ll give you another example. Today the plump guy with a moustache, the guy from the virtual brothel, Newco Dating Ltd, looked a bit like Tom Sellek: I could start calling him like this if he was around the office a bit more often. You would understand who I am talking about, wouldn’t you?»

«It’s maybe because I have only seen him once, however, I don’t know whether I could easily match the actor to that face: I mean, the word used for Marisa goes straighter to the point. Have you got any more examples?»

«I don’t know. You don’t like rake. For instance...» I go on saying, keeping my voice down, «if I said that the peroxide blonde bush finishes work in ten minutes and at 6.00 pm on the dot this person will leave the office, who would you think of?»

В«This is easy, but there is also some affection behind it all.В»

В«Yes, sure. There is affection too in the definition itself: it describes the person in two words.В»

В«Yes, you are right. Go ahead.В»

I lift my hands towards my head, I rest my elbows on my knees and I run my fingers through my hair.

«I wouldn’t really know... it is like when we talk about a person as a mafioso to refer to someone who goes around with his shirt open and a golden cross dangling on his hairy chest; or addict, to someone who has a dull look and staggers through.»

«That’s okay but what I mean is... why do you think people understand when one talks about other people using these fanciful nicknames?»

В«Probably because if you think about it they are not so fanciful...В»

В«Or else, the two speakers have a similar mentality, so a reference could be good between two people, but not with a third person. Right, Brando?В»

«Sure. I believe there are different situations. For instance, I don’t know, I don’t think that the name Richard the Lionheart was created after a conversation between two people, I think that the whole community felt that way about him.»

В«Probably we are digressing a little too much.В»

В«No, no, I take it as an ordinary discussion, Alessandro; if you wish, we could continue it down at the bar, holding a glass of wine so we can get more in tune with the various aspects of the topic.В»

«Very funny, Brando. All in all, do you think that Marisa’s nickname is working out because we both think that the lady is really a... slut?»

«In my opinion, she is. It’s a fact: that’s why the reference works out.»

I hear Tamara talking with Domenica and, peeking at my smartphone that displays 5:57pm, I take it that she is saying goodbye to her before leaving the office.

В«Brando, maybe just the two of us think this way.В»

В«Certainly, notary, it could be. What do you think?В»

В«I think the same as you, Brando. But what is that supposed to mean?В»

«Phew» I snort. «Anyway, the last time Marisa was here, didn’t she forget her horrible pen, the pink one? Well, she even rang the office to make sure to keep it here “because it is mine and next week I will drop in to collect it“?»

«Yes, Brando. I found it in the deed of sales room. As a matter of fact, if she hadn’t called, I am sure that I would have disposed of it immediately, because you just can’t keep it something like that in your pen holder: I have given it to Tamara, I think it is still there.»

«Yes, it is still there, you just can’t miss it. Would you like to sit a test, notary?»

«Maybe there something up with you, Brando. Anyway, let’s give the test a go.»

В«We must wait for a few minutes, I think. Tell me in the meantime, why do you want to miss the French night at the Bistrot?В»

«I don’t want to miss it, really. It is just that it is the fourth edition since the beginning of the year: it’s all nice and funny but then it ends with me sitting at the table on my own because my wife is busy entertaining the clients who come in and out, she must stand behind the counter or look after the cash register.»

В«I seeВ» I say staring at the table. В«Talking about your wife: I just got another example.В»

В«Excuse me, I am offВ» Tamara interrupts from the doorstep of the office. В«Good evening to everyone.В»

В«Excuse me, TamaraВ» I stop her, В«has the slut dropped in to collect her horrible pen?В»

В«No, not even today, it must be two months since her last visit here. She probably thinks that it is not so beautiful in the end. Why, can I throw it out?В»

В«No, TamaraВ» the notary answers. В«We were talking about it because we did not remember where it had ended up. Hold on to that, she will drop in sooner or later. Have a nice evening.В»

В«Bye Tamara.В»

В«Goodbye notary. See you, Brando. Enjoy your evening.В» She walks off tapping her heels down the corridor.

«Test is over, don’t you think? Not even a hint of surprise, a stir nor eyebrows raising, no hesitation whatsoever: immediate connection. I also would like to point out that Tamara is a woman, in case you think it is relevant.»

«Yes, you can’t argue with this reasoning. So, in conclusion, is Marisa seen by everyone as what that word suggests?»

«I would think so. People won’t be surprised to hear this definition.»

вЃЋвЃЋвЃЋвЃЋвЃЋвЃЋвЃЋ

The notary does not reply.

He does not reply and stares at the screen.

«Good» I just say, a little puzzled. «So, we can state that the discussion is over? What were we supposed to discuss after Augusto Pardoli’s two confidential meetings with you, was just a debate regarding how the world perceives that lady who is not so young now, she has an eye-catching appearance, she is a bit common and of easy virtue?»

The notary is still quiet.

В«If that was it, we could have talked about it immediately, without deferring it so many times: I kept on trying to postpone the conversation because I thought that there was some strange deed to bring up.В»

Still staring at the screen...

«I meant» trying to batten down the hatches, in fear that I had offended him, «I didn’t do it on purpose, maybe I didn’t explain it properly. I meant to say that the concurrence of all these events which forced us to postpone this discussion, was not that bad after all. We just had to postpone a discussion, albeit rightful and of a certain semantic importance, about something that was not so relevant for our jobs at the office.»

Nothing: gazing, pursed lips and relaxed face. He was gazing blankly more than staring at something.

«As a matter of fact, lexical semantics is fascinating; I didn’t know you were into discipline. I have never examined it in depth but if you need me to, just to have someone to discuss the issue with you, I can do some research. I know very well how frustrating it is to find someone you can share your opinions with over something you are passionate about.»

В«Brando, have you finished with your ranting and raving?В» the notary bursts out laughing.

I smile too.

В«Do you think that there are courses on lexical semantics?В»

В«Of course, there are similar courses all over the place, especially evening coursesВ» I grin.

The notary turns serious looking again. «Fine, enough with this nonsense: the trouble that has arisen is that the husband of the slut... Marisa’s husband I meant... wants to reclaim all the donations made to the wife’s name.»

«That’s where the trouble was. Each donation? Does he want to reclaim everything and leave his wife on the street? Did they fight and want to split up?»

«Something like that. I’ll sum it up for you: you do remember the shoe shop that the lady had opened» he looks at me and I nod. «Mr Pardoli says that it is rumoured that she has encounters with the customers of the shop there.»

В«Behind the shop window?В»

В«No, not behind the shop windowВ» the notary replies sarcastically. В«I understood that the encounters are in the fitting rooms.В»

«Excellent! It makes sense. If she doesn’t mind whether it is a woman or a man, I understand why this characteristic was relevant in the recap of the situation.»

В«IndeedВ» the notary sighs. В«I took the liberty to ask if the encounters were arranged outside the shop or inside it: to try and understand if it was a fee-paying business or something like that. However, Augusto told me that according to what he heard about his wife, she literally jumps on the customers: almost on anyone, man or woman, especially if they are young.В»

«I see» I say deep in my thoughts. «Do you actually believe in Augusto’s story?»

«I am not too sure. His version of the story sounds true and I would not have any reason to doubt Mr Pardoli’s good faith. Moreover, according to Augusto, this is not just happening in the shop but also in the city or in other small towns. He described his wife as a nympho with a very strong sexual drive for whoever, no matter if they are male or female.»

В«Excuse meВ» I say, struck by a sudden doubt. В«Why would a shoe shop have a fitting room? I have not physically gone to a shop in a while but I do not remember many shoe shops equipped with fitting rooms.В»

«I don’t have a clue, as far as I am concerned, some of them may have them, or maybe these shops used to be clothing stores. I don’t think it is relevant, anyway Brando» Alessandro replies abruptly.

В«As a matter of fact, it is not so relevant. I was just picturing the lady attacking a customer who is trying on a pair of sandals in the fitting room.В»

В«Fine, Brando: you can stop all your picturingВ» the notary replies sarcastically. В«In any case, the trouble for us is how to get out of this situation: how can we convince Mr Pardoli that reclaiming these donations is not that easy after all?В»

«Right, it’s a big problem. Excuse me, just one thing before looking into this issue from a regulatory point of view: has the husband ever used the word slut in telling the story?»

В«Ten times at least.В»

В«Right: it all makes sense now.В»

«Great, Brando. Let’s get to the point.»

В«RightВ» I sigh. В«The request for reclaiming can be forwarded for serious harm towards the donor, right?В»

«Yes, she did not try to kill him, she did not sue him without good reason and I don’t think she gave false testimony against him.»

«Alessandro that should be the direction to take: you should suggest obloquy and a judicial request, stating that his reputation has been harmed and ridiculed on account of his wife’s careless behaviours. Something like that...» I stop for a few minutes. «A lot of work for a good lawyer who wants to have a good time.»

В«Yes, Brando, I feel the same as you. By advising him to go to another lawyer, we would stop the issue immediately and we could lose interest in the situation.В»

«This solution would not be bad at all» I say looking at the notary’s puzzled expression in his face. «So then?»

«It may be true: dos est uxoria lites. But I don’t know» he says hesitantly, «what if the husband went a little overboard with his story? If the wife seemed to be this way, but in fact she behaved as a faithful and loving partner? What if she is just seen in the wrong way? The husband may see her as being too open with friendships, but it could just be a wrong impression.»