Владарг Дельсат "Finding the Ground Beneath the Feet"

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For an orphan with an orphan disease, life is not easy. A girl finds help through accusations and beatings. Death looks like a liberation. But for her it is only the beginning. Life goes on in a new body, with seemingly old problems. Only there are new people, a new family, who seem to perceive her differently from the people and from the past. And there is even a «fiancé», as the girl calls her foster brother. Will Mariana be able to find happiness in her new life?

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child_care Возрастное ограничение : 12

update Дата обновления : 20.05.2023


As I looked around, I saw Herman’s big eyes. He was very surprised but I didn’t understand why.

«What did you do wrong?» Mum asked, showing something to Daddy.

He lifted me and laid me on his lap. I raised my skirt myself but I couldn’t move my panties, I mean, my nappy.

«Well, I distracted Herman, then I couldn’t eat on my own, and then…» I started speaking more and more quietly because I was getting scared again. «Also, I failed to answer some questions…»

«Herman?» Mother called out.

«Rie helped me with an exercise. And the fact that she didn’t remember everything from the history book… No one expected her to,» the ’fiancе» explained.

From the beginning, he immediately started calling me «Rie’ instead of «Gabriella’, and I didn’t mind because it sounded very gentle. I couldn’t see what Herman was doing now.

«Daughter, do you want to be punished?» Dad finally spoke up and caressed my back. «Or do you just think you’ll be punished anyway?»

«Being punished makes me breathe easier and I’m not so scared,» I admitted. Well, what if he chased me away?

«Are you afraid of pain?»

Dad, of course, felt that I was shrinking, so he also patted me on the head.

«That someone will chase me away,» I answered quietly.

It was a pity I couldn’t see their faces in my position.

Then, my dad put me back in the chair. He got up and went away, then came back with a stethoscope (this is a tool with two tubes that helps to listen to your chest).

«No one will ever chase you away,» Mother said sternly. «You are our daughter forever, remember?»

«Yes,» I nodded, which made my eyes dim. «So what about the punishment?»

«You haven’t deserved it yet,» Dad murmured thoughtfully, listening to something. «I think it’s a restriction[3 - Impaired lung expansion on inhalation.], but why?»

«It depends on the anamnesis[4 - Anamnesis – a medical or/and life history.],» Mother said unclearly.

She got up, came to me, squatted down, and hugged me. I felt so warm that I relaxed completely.

«Do you know where you lived?»

«I don’t know exactly, but I think it was a pantry,» I answered what I had read in books when I was Mariana.

Mother’s eyes got larger, and Herman started to look like an owl. He stared at me without even blinking, and then he hugged me promising that no one would ever touch me again.

Dad went somewhere and came back with a big blue cylinder. It turned out to be medical oxygen. They put a mask on my face, and my breathing immediately became very easy, and Dad just sighed. Also, they put some kind of a… peg on my finger[5 - A pulse oximetry sensor is a device that monitors your pulse rate and blood oxygen level.]. It glowed red, and my dad looked at the little screen and stroked his head. Then, Mum was talking to me for a long time, asking me why I thought I was going to die. So I told her everything I knew. Then they washed me and put me to bed with my mask, peg, and device. It was a bit sad to part with Herman, but I hoped to wake up tomorrow.

While I was asleep, I was having some completely magical dreams and, for the first time, I didn’t want to die. I saw adult Herman putting a ring on my finger and calling me his dear one. It’s a pity it was only a dream…

Price

Elsa sat next to Gerhardt, telling him what she had learned from Gabriella. Herman honestly eavesdropped. First of all, he was curious. Then, the girl who called him «fiancе» touched some strings in his soul, which made him want to understand the situation. Herman didn’t know any other way to get information, so he lurked behind the sofa listening to his parents’ conversation – something he had never done before.

«Ehlers-Danlos syndrome[6 - Hereditary abnormalities in the development of collagen structures.],» the man repeated after his wife thoughtfully. «And a high-intensity pain syndrome, because she did everything despite the pain. We have to figure out how to relieve it.»

«The easiest solution is to ask your colleagues,» his wife smiled.

Elsa saw both Gabriella’s pain and the «delay’[7 - Here: a decrease in psychological age due to previous or present stressful situations.]in her age which indicated a very difficult life of the child, but she had faith in her husband. The former sadistic caretakers were already being dealt with by the police and psychiatrists. The police also visited the girl’s school and found numerous irregularities there.

At that point, Herman couldn’t take it anymore.

«Daddy, when Rie nods, she has syncope[8 - Fainting or passing out.],» the boy shared his observations.

«Yes, we should have a look at the neck,» Gerhardt nodded and gave his son a sign to approach. «How do you feel about becoming a ’fiancе»?»

«She really needs this, Dad,» Herman replied seriously. «And it’s impossible not to love Gabriella. Let her call me her husband as long as she lives.»

There was so much tenderness in this phrase that Elsa looked intently at her son and smiled again.

«Then, I’ll study some literature and ask my colleagues,» Dr. Stiller decided. «Until we figure out how to relieve Gabriella’s condition, we’ll treat her like a five-year-old – with the greatest tenderness and care. Also, we will have to decide about the oxygen… In the morning, we will take the girl to the hospital and look for it.»

«The important thing is that she doesn’t think about betrayal,» the woman said quietly. «She already thinks she won’t live for long…»

* * *

I woke up in the hospital again. How did I know that? By the smell and the squeaking next to me. I thought that I must be dead again… I wondered if I was still Frau Schmidt or if my name was different now. When I opened my eyes, I saw Herman. He was sitting next to me and caressing my head. So, the Stillers hadn’t been taken away from me. It made me feel some warmth. My «fiancе» noticed that my eyes were open, leaned over, and kissed them as much as he could with his mask on.

«You gave us a scare today, kitten,» Herman said. He did it very affectionately, by the way. «I’ll get Daddy now, and then we’ll go home, eh?»

«Yes,» I whispered, catching his hand. «Can I… have you by my side?»

Maybe he didn’t want to stay, and I was forcing him to? But I needed it so much – there were no words to describe it!

«Of course, I’ll be there for you because you’re my fiancеe.»

He said this word as if it were real, not fake. It made me want to cry again.

«I love you,» I told him.

The «fiancе» just smiled and replied that everything would be fine. I believed him because it was Herman.

A little later, they sucked the blood out of me, and then they fed me and started taking me for X-rays and putting me into such a big ring that was loud and scary. Strangely, it felt like I had become very small. I hoped it would pass, although I didn’t want it to. Dad brought a special collar, put it around my neck, and told me not to take it off or it would be very bad. But I decided to be obedient, didn’t I? So I told Daddy I was obedient, even though I couldn’t nod now. But it was easier to breathe, even when the mask was removed to feed me. Herman fed me because I was his kitten, he said so himself. It was so warm to be someone else’s…

After that, we drove home. Herman said we would sleep together now because we were the bride and groom, but I figured out why. If the caretakers hit hard, there might be nightmares at night, and waking up in the hospital every day would be bad for anyone. And I didn’t want Mum and Dad to get bored… And I didn’t want Herman to get bored… Because I probably wouldn’t be able to make it without him. How little time had passed, and he’d already become dearer to me than anything else. Why was it like that? I didn’t know…

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notes

Примечания

1

The term «Fr?ulein’ is considered obsolete and is not used today. (Here and further below: author’s note).

2

When the lamp illuminates from behind, the doctor may look like they have a halo around their head, especially if the patient’s vision is failing.

3

Impaired lung expansion on inhalation.

4

Anamnesis – a medical or/and life history.

5

A pulse oximetry sensor is a device that monitors your pulse rate and blood oxygen level.

6

Hereditary abnormalities in the development of collagen structures.

7

Here: a decrease in psychological age due to previous or present stressful situations.

8

Fainting or passing out.

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